Girly Thoughts

April 15, 2008

Dear googlers

Filed under: Gender,Race — judgesnineteen @ 8:37 pm

Dear googler who found my site by searching “black people want to be number one race”,

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that’s a line from a speech I don’t know about that you were trying to find in order to show your privilege-blinded friend that there are still people in the world who are amazingly racist against black people. Keep up the good fight.



Dear googler who found my site by looking for “girly science fair things”,

I can’t imagine how many hits you must have gotten, since all science fair things are girly. How will you ever choose what to do your project on?

Keep studying,


Dear googler who found my site by searching for “abortion hurt”,

I’m assuming you’re either considering an abortion and want information or have had one and need support. I sincerely hope you find what you seek, and I recommend the Planned Parenthood website for the former. It won’t lie to you, unlike some people who like to try to scare people out of abortions by telling them it’s much worse than it usually is.

Best of luck,


Dear googler who found my site by searching for “human freaks men with two penises”,

Good luck with that thesis you’re putting off. And thanks for reassuring me that if someone searches for that, they’ll find my blog. Whew.



PS all: I can’t see who did this, just that someone did. Rest easy.


Forgot this one.  I’ll actually give a serious answer in case anyone in this situation comes by.

Dear googler who found my site by searching “do guys know if you’re a virgin”,

Technically, no. They might think they do, but there is no virginity test – you can bleed more than once or never, you can have no blood but discomfort and stretching more than once or never. But listen read carefully. I don’t care if you have sex, or at what age, or with what toys, or in a box, or – well, no don’t have sex with a fox because foxes can’t give informed consent. But I’d rather you not get hurt unnecessarily, and if you do have hymenal issues (try to put a finger in your vagina. Keep adding fingers until it hurts/won’t fit. Less than four? You probably will), and a guy doesn’t know that, you are going to experience more pain than you need to. You shouldn’t have to do that to be liked! You should have enough power in the sexual situation to be able to be honest and to require that you are treated properly. If you’re trying to pull off a lie, you’ll probably be nervous (which is likely for your first time anyway), and nervous means tense and tense means it will be more difficult.  You need to be in control of how fast and how deep you go until you’re all nice and stretchy, at which point you share control. At least make sure to be REALLY aroused before you start actual intercourse – when you get really aroused, your vagina makes some lubricant (still a good idea to use extra, probably water-based) and opens up considerably on the inside, both of which make it more comfortable for you.  And at all times, hymen or no, you have the right to stop a sex act whenever you want, even if he hasn’t had an orgasm yet.  Also: nothing wrong with buying a sex toy and stretching yourself out solo. On the other hand, if you’re trying to pretend you ARE a virgin when you’re not, just say you were born without a hymen or stretched it in gym class.

Take care,




  1. Wow. Some of the searches that brought people to my blog at least made sense. One, for example, was “female impersonator latex makeup.” Another, though, was “Monica Grenfell idiot.” haha.
    And this weird picture of a PETA lady in tiger-striped body paint keeps bringing a LOT Of people to the blog. Weirddddd…

    That first one makes me sad because I am a cynic. Wonder how they ended up here…
    Anyway, I hope that all those people actually took the time to read your blog and learn something. I love Girly Thoughts. 🙂

    Comment by Amelia — April 15, 2008 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  2. Yeah, seeing how the googlers get to a blog can be funny – and sometimes disturbing. We laugh sometimes that people clearly looking for nudie picts instead get a big ‘ol eye full of feminism.

    Comment by pobre habladora — April 16, 2008 @ 2:53 am | Reply

  3. That’s awesome!

    Comment by judgesnineteen — April 16, 2008 @ 7:41 am | Reply

  4. I’m not sure that showing up in a search list necessarily means your blog has been read. In any case, I have seem some pretty damn strange search strings lead to my blog. Most of them are abortion related. I really don’t care what shows up in random searches – at most, I find it amusing.

    Oh and before I forget, you asked me on Apostate’s site about what definition of feminsim some other site used to keep me out of a thread, and to be honest, I don’t really quite know what it was. I was given a link to a site that was supposedly feminism 101 and had essays about whether a man could even call himself a feminist. Ultimately, the main thing I got out of the exchange was that simply being fully for 100% equal rights between men and women was apparently not sufficient to be considered feminist. Which I think is the main problem with people eschewing the word – so much baggage and other things have been added onto the word that it makes people think that it really isn’t about equality, because if it was, then so many self-styled feminists wouldn’t find that championing equality isn’t enough to be considered a feminist.

    Comment by Disgusted Beyond Belief — April 16, 2008 @ 2:32 pm | Reply

  5. Haha, I know they probably didn’t actually read my blog. Like you, I find it amusing, and I also found a couple of them potentially disturbing, so I decided to write fake letters for the humor of it and for the fun of being able to put my own spin on things, because they’re probably not here to tell me that they’re actually racist, anti-choice, or think girls suck at science. The serious one was just because I think that kind of information needs to be more available, so if someone who needs it happens to find it, well, it didn’t cost me anything.

    So maybe those people are of the mind that men shouldn’t take the label feminist. But didn’t you say on Apostate’s blog (just my fuzzy memory, maybe I’m wrong) that the thread was also open to feminist allies or something? Anyway, I don’t like that opinion. I get how people think that way, but I think the more people who proudly call themselves feminists, the better. Well, I guess I wouldn’t like it if it became popular but only for a watered-down kind of feminism, that wouldn’t help. Anyway, try to have patience with people like that. If they’re angry and unwilling to compromise, it’s probably because they’re oppressed and always told they need to just make nice anyway.

    Comment by judgesnineteen — April 16, 2008 @ 7:27 pm | Reply

  6. lol @ pobre habladora : )

    Comment by cripchick — April 16, 2008 @ 9:40 pm | Reply

  7. DDB – most of us feminist types do think men can and should be feminists. Like any other movement, there can be some in-fighting from time to time, and there are inevitably people who express their personal opinions as absolutes. Hopefully this sort of thing won’t distract too many men from the overall goal of equality for the sexes.

    Comment by pobre habladora — April 16, 2008 @ 10:35 pm | Reply

  8. To me, the label isn’t what matters, equality is what matters. Of course, I’m not a woman, if that makes any difference. But if you had the choice between giving up the label of “feminism” but having more widespread gender equality or keeping the label, but having less equality, I’d think that giving up the label would be the way to go. Not that there is such a dichotomy, but I have wondered in the past (and mused on this on my blog) if giving up the label might be better for the movement of equality because of all of the baggage associated with the word now (much of it unfairly added by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, but some of it is also caused by certain self-labeled feminists of the sort who told me that favoring full equality was not enough to even qualify me as a feminist ally). I liken it to what has happened to the word “liberal” – the right-wing noise machine has sufficiently sullied it to the point where they use it as a curse word and people avoid the label – the general response is that liberals now use the word “progressive”. When the game is a partly a PR game you need to use PR tactics.

    Comment by Disgusted Beyond Belief — April 17, 2008 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

  9. How do you find out the things people searched?

    Comment by Lyndsay — April 17, 2008 @ 5:05 pm | Reply

  10. DBB – Personally, while I would opt for equality over the label if I had the opportunity, I think it’s a better strategy to keep the label. Somehow I think it’s important for people to tell their friends, look, I’m an ok person, and I’m a feminist. I think there’s something about using it even though it’s currently “the f-word” that says that the problem really does still exist and that we’re not going to be bullied into shutting up about it. My boyfriend doesn’t call himself one because he thinks feminism should be assumed in being a civilized person (he doesn’t mean that in a “we’re better than the savages” way, he just uses the word civilized for some reason). I see his point that some people consider it a sort of ghettoization (in the original sense, not the ghetto fabulous sense) of women’s issues to put them in their very own category. But I think that, at this point, if we tell people to just worry about human rights in general, they’ll forget about women’s rights a lot of the time. Plus I think that when some people argue that they just want to be an equalist or they just care about human rights and don’t want to talk about special categories, they use it as a cover for not believing that women’s rights are really so frequently violated and for not wanting to confront their privilege. My boyfriend is not one of those people, though, and I accept his point of view on it. In the end, actions are more important than labels, but I think the label sends a pretty powerful message sometimes, especially when men take it for themselves.

    Lyndsay – WordPress tells me some of the ways people got to my blog – links they clicked, terms they searched that led to me.

    Comment by judgesnineteen — April 17, 2008 @ 5:34 pm | Reply

  11. Man, our blog gets all sorts of crazy hits for pregnant masturbation man….

    Comment by grandpa dinosaur — April 21, 2008 @ 5:00 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: